#68 - The Tax Man

Posted on Thursday, June 18th, 2020 at 8:41 am by LaLonde Jewelers

Recently I paid my taxes in my municipality. I live and work in the same city. As I was driving from the payment center I was thinking “boy, I pay a lot of taxes. I wonder where all the money goes?” Now my taxes are probably above average but not as much as some.

So thinking I thought of something. Maybe I should set up a hotline for people to call and they could ask questions like ‘What tax money is paying for what services?’

For example, someone could call my hotline and say “Whose taxes are paying for Johnny’s schooling.” I would say “What is his last name?” “Smith” they say. “I’m checking. Well you know I pay for Johnny’s schooling.” Another call is ‘Whose taxes are paying for the road improvements over on Main Street?” I say, “Is that at the corner of Fifth Avenue?” Well I am.

Well, you know that I can’t be paying for everything, it’s a collective group pooling all the money to pay for these necessities.

So I say to the caller “Maybe you should call Amazon and Google and ask them what they pay for.”

“Oh, we don’t have to pay taxes”, they say. “We really don’t care much about Johnny or the project at Main and Fifth”.

“What we do is make deals with your local government and promise to hire all your brightest workers so they can help make us the biggest. And in return they have jobs and they can help pay for Johnny’s schooling and that project on the corner. And we think they are not bright enough to realize what we are up to.”

So the next time you need to purchase jewelry or buy a book, go online and order it from one of those impersonal big box sites. Don’t go to your local jeweler or bookstore. Just drive right by them while driving down Main on your way to dropping Johnny off at school.

Don’t worry, we will take care of everything else.

Written by Dan LaLonde, G.G., G.I.A.
Lalonde Jewelers & Gemologists
The Gem Expert